


Desolate Dreamscape

by CatHeights



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-20
Updated: 2007-10-20
Packaged: 2017-10-05 13:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatHeights/pseuds/CatHeights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John can't sleep. Rodney offers comfort by being Rodney. Coda for <i>Doppelganger</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desolate Dreamscape

  
_The echoes of his footsteps are painfully loud in the emptiness of Atlantis. He knows if he picks the right hallway to walk down, he'll find people. Not that it will matter. He'll still be alone, because Rodney...Rodney is gone. _

_And it's all his fault._

_John walks faster, wishing he could hear someone's voice, but each corridor is empty. He turns down hallway after hallway, but still he's alone._

_He calls out Rodney's name, but he can't even hear the sound of his own voice, so he runs, faster and faster, down hallway after hallway, but he finds nothing. He's always alone, and it's always silent._

_A muscle twinges in his thigh, and he trips, falling to his knees. It's so cold that he can see his breath, so cold it hurts to breathe. _

_"Rodney," he tries to gasp, but all he hears is that silence._

John wakes, a pained sound slipping from his lips. His heart pounding, he glances to his side where Rodney is sleeping soundly, face smushed against the pillow. He places a hand on Rodney's back and closes his eyes, willing the warmth beneath his fingertips to calm him down and remind him of reality.

It's the third time he's had this nightmare, and it always begins at the same point – with the flatline of Rodney's heart.

_Clear._

_He's in cardiac arrest._

_I'm sorry. I've done all I can. _

_He's dead._

After that he's doomed to wander the cold and empty halls of Atlantis. The city he loves a bitter and lonely place.

It's funny how the nightmare doesn't contain his doppelganger or the accusations of his friends. It's just Rodney's death and then that unending emptiness. And yeah, that's pretty damn awful.

John rubs a hand over his face, his other hand firmly pressed against Rodney's back, feeling the motion of each breath. Touching Rodney and listening to him breathe should be comforting, but somehow it isn't. He can't get rid of the tightness in his chest, the lingering ache of that dreamscape loneliness.

The damn entity's gone. He's sure of it, and yet he's having nightmares. John carefully climbs out of bed. Sleeping is obviously not part of tonight's game plan, and as he doesn't want to ruin Rodney's chance of a good night's sleep, he should get up.

As he heads to the transporter, he walks down a number of empty corridors, and for a second John wonders if he's still dreaming.

"Get a hold of yourself, John," he mutters.

Great, now he's talking to himself. Heightmeyer would have a field day, if she were still around. His fists tighten at his sides. No, he's not going to think about anyone they've lost, or anyone they almost lost.

John steps out onto the balcony and takes a deep breath of cold air. It's definitely bracing, but he still can't break the surreal feeling he's had since waking. Something's missing.

He's not sure how long he spends standing there staring into the darkness, but eventually he hears the sound of the door sliding open. He doesn't need to turn around to know that it's Rodney.

"What happened, did I kick you in my sleep, steal all the covers?"

"Nah. Just couldn't sleep."

"Nightmare?"

"It's nothing." John shrugs.

"Well, if it had something to do with that evil, nightmarish version of you, who was really nothing like you, he was pretty scary, even his hair was scarily perfect in a deranged way, and there was the whale…."

"It was the clown, Rodney. You had to bring in a clown."

Rodney looks upset. "Hey, I warned you. It's not like I can help what I dream."

"Relax, Rodney. I was kidding. Actually your mind was a lot less scary than I would have imagined. I wouldn't call it normal, but it wasn't so bad."

"Well, that's good to know. You know there's a slight possibility that maybe you're partly responsible for that. Maybe you and I together have tempered some of my messed-upedness."

John raises an eyebrow. "Messed-upedness? Is that a technical term?"

"Or maybe you're just as screwed up as I am, and you can't tell the difference," Rodney says, lips curving into a scowl.

John laughs. "Could be."  The surreal feeling dissipates, and he starts to relax. This moment is real and somehow very right.

"Sleep-deprived here, don't expect my communication skills to be top notch under these circumstances." Rodney crosses his arms.

"I never expect your communication skills to be top notch."

Rodney ignores the jibe. "In the end, we won, and really isn't that all that matters."

"You know it scares me when you're optimistic. Isn't that how this all began?"

"No," Rodney says with a huff. "I believe it began when you touched the crystal alien."

John winces.

"Which totally wasn't your fault because that's how it sucked its victims in, and…."

Rodney sighs, step closer and takes John's hand and squeezes it. John moves in closer and squeezes back. For a few seconds they're silent, John enjoying the contrast between Rodney's warmth beside him and the bite of the chill air.

"You wouldn't perhaps want to go back to our nice, warm bed."

John smiles at the longing he hears in Rodney's voice. "Well, that depends."

"Don't tell me you want a bedtime story."

"Not what I had in mind," John says and leans in to kiss Rodney.

"Oooh sex, I like your mind. Come on." Rodney grabs John's hand and tugs him toward the door.

John laughs. "In a hurry, Rodney?"

"Yes, actually. Because if I stay out here any longer, I'll be too damn cold to have sex, and that would be a complete waste, don't you think?"

"Lead on."

"I knew you'd see things my way. Move faster before I die of frostbite."

John smiles, as the sound of Rodney's voice erases the missing feeling that's haunted him since waking. He allows Rodney to tug him through the warm halls of Atlantis back to their bed, where reality chases away any lingering traces of nightmare.


End file.
